I am not good at this. This not talking at all yet waiting patiently. I suck at this royally. I know that you ain’t well and you can’t talk and all of that but what I don’t understand is you snapping or maybe I do understand but I just expect you to be a little affectionate even if it is a one minute conversation. I am not rude to you ever but then again I am not this sick ever. There I answered my own question. I hate the silence, this not responding to my messages, not answering my calls when you feel like it. I wonder how you’d react if I fell sick and you couldn’t see me or if I didn’t feel like talking to you day after day cos I was in no position to or if I was in a bad mood. Would you be alright with it if I snapped at you like you do? I am not gonna be bothering you rather smothering you with my texts and calls now. You are better off without them. I am not needed and I so feel that. I want more and I honestly believed you’d give me that kind of mental security but I have begun to believe that this is only gonna be about you. Yes I am insecure and yes I have self esteem issues and no you don’t have to deal with them. All I wanted you to say was I am still there and you don’t do that. When I ask you if you are coming down to India you make it a point to say you are coming down to Kolkata. Thanks but I expected you to come to Delhi cos the British High Commission happens to be in Delhi. I don’t want anything and you can carry on with your life and I am livid right now for your indifference or whatever it is. You were sick and I understand that but what I don’t understand is your constant bad moods. I don’t get that and I don’t have the patience to deal with this. I am too old and I don’t think you like me as much.