The History of 'I'

I am not about the men who chose not to be with me. I am not about the loneliness that threatens to engulf me every now and then. I am not about my nightmares that petrify me in my weakest moments. I am not about the hideous thoughts inside my head that don’t always wish other people well. I am not about those 12 glasses of mojitos that overpowered my senses that evening. I am not about that therapist I visited one summer afternoon so unsure of everything I was. I am not about my old failures that kept me from following my dreams. I am not about the job I hated, loved and lost all at the same time. I am not, definitely not about my stammering speech anymore. I never was just about all of this. I am so often about cheerfulness and glee. I am about mindless humour and laughter till your sides split. I am about picking and choosing my own battles and only those that are worth fighting for. I am also about newly discovered irrational anger that I am learning to tame. I am about following my oldest dreams a tad bit late. I am about the phoenix tattooed on the back of my shoulder that rises from the ashes. I am about wearing the bright, brighter, brightest colours when I am at my lowest. I am about red, gold, electric blue, shocking purple, neon green and the effervescent fuchsia. I am about running every day till my feet ache and my lungs are gasping for breath. I am about giving advice on life and love which is mostly spot-on and legal advice that is not always fool proof. I am the peace, the calm inside your head and your strength. I am the one you belong to. There are times when I am nothing yet I am everything.