Some of us are looking at the stars

I really wonder why wanting to do  a JD and going to law school again is illiogcal. I mean hell I am not saying I am planning to study for 5 years more. Na I just wanna do a degree course that would be so much more substantial than an MALD or an LLM. And tis so pissing off that I cannot write what I want on my blog cos tis seems the whole wide world reads it. I mean I have made the act of being vague such an art. I can't even talk about the men I wanna be talking about. Sigh! 

Like NC for instance. So yes he was a jock in school, the kinds who sings, dances, excels in both, acts, plays the violin, runs like a dream and the works. There was I the kinds who hardly ever managed attracting the attention of the jock. But yeah that did not stop me from swooning when he sang " Smooth" on stage and that is one stage act I cannot seem to forget. The likes of him did not notice the likes of me and I came across his Facebook profile and randomly added him on a whim and lo behold he accepted it.

One of those silly crushes I guess. All I ever do is check out his pics sometimes and he makes me wanna believe that I'll get to that elite HLS. Can I? I have been wondering what it can be if I get through. Ofcourse LSAT is the biggest hurdle in the middle and damn I saw a sample exam and it just boggled me.   I need a score of 165 at the least besides a brilliant essay and excellent recommendations. 

I am gonna meet Madam P for dinner today at Chung's. I am gonna miss this carefree existence but at the same time I am gonna be free of all this tension at work. I wasn't me cos this scared timid being is definitely not me. I am not saying that I am some activist who always voices out her opinions but nor am I this wimpering wuss I had turned into over here. 

So here's to new beginnings despite the e-mail that bounced, the job thats gone, the home that is depressing, a journey that I wasn't keen to embark upon. I don't know where I am going but I am on my way....

And thus I am

So here it is. A brand new blog and a brand new start. Lets see how long I remain anonymous. Today was a momentous day in my life. I am on the wrong side of 25, almost jobless and with a bunch of unfulfilled dreams. I have these big, big dreams that seem almost impossible right now as the pay cheque shall not be coming in from next month. My personal life is in tatters. I kept trying and trying and trying and I have hit rock bottom. I don't know why I still light at the end of this tunnel. Yes I do, I still do. :-)

"I do not fear failure. I only fear the "slowing up" of the engine inside of me which is pounding, saying, "Keep going, someone must be on top, why not you?"